MADE IN NIRVANA
Chapter 24
The list of gratitude
Spending time with Luna was pure joy. Whatever they did, Maria felt happy, alive, everything seemed full of meaning; there was always something important to discuss, apart from talking about love! They had left their conversation at the Tourist Camp with Luna having mentioned her sense of mission for world peace and Maria hadn't forgotten. They sat under the fan which hung from the ceiling and turned round and round.
Maria thought of Franca. Did she trust her? She cared about her, but was the feeling mutual? There was something that bothered her, but she didn't want to think about it now. She pushed the uncomfortable feeling to the back of her mind, for the time being. "In the case of sincere friendship, yes, I can agree," she mused.
"If the friendship is not sincere, it's not friendship," Luna said simply, looking at her.
Maria went silent. That feeling resurfaced, obstinately, and wouldn't go away; it was a look, a wry smile, a feeling that had lasted only a second, something she had noticed but couldn't put her finger on. She drove the thought of Franca into the background; she'd think about it later. She nodded thoughtfully, encouraging Luna to continue.
"If there is trust between two people, most of the time there won't be any conflict," she continued. "If and when problems arise, they will resolve them through dialogue, because both of them care about each other."
"Like, for example, between you and me?" asked Maria, after a brief pause. "If we had problems, we'd talk about them and resolve them. We certainly wouldn't lose this friendship!"
"Thank you for considering me a friend," Luna said, pleasantly touched. "Yes, that's the way it is. From friendship to trust and from trust to peace. This is the process that leads to lasting peace."
"Okay, I understand but... I'm sorry if I keep asking one question after another!"
"Not at all, that's fine. What did want you ask?" Luna encouraged her.
"Two people can create friendship, trust and dialogue, but wars are between nations, so what can be done? It's not the same, is it? It's much more complicated."
While Luna answered her question, Maria took the opportunity to eat a sweet and take a sip of the chai that had now cooled a little.
"In a sense, the process is similar. It's very important that people from different countries establish links of friendship, if they don't already exist. We begin by talking about what we have in common; everyone likes sports, for example! We can organize exchanges based on sports, friendly matches. Who wouldn't like that? Then, everybody likes art, and all countries have good painters, sculptors, musicians, singers, dancers. We can organize exchanges of music, concerts, art exhibitions going from town to town."
"But don't we already do these things? Games, concerts, ballets, and so on," Maria asked, swallowing quickly and wiping the crumbs from her mouth.
"There are competitive matches, concerts to which few people can go, because they are too expensive! I'm thinking of more popular things, open to everyone. Later, as part of the dialogue process, we can talk about health, about love for children, respect for the elderly. These are all things that unite people, while differences may divide."
"And organize exchanges of young and older people?" asked Maria, with enthusiasm.
Luna looked at her, amused, and laughed. "Yes, but we don't leave them there. Only temporary exchanges, then everyone takes back their young and old people and brings them home!" They laughed at the funny image of swapping grandparents between one border and the other. "Exchanges in general, especially of young people, because they are the future, so it's important that they open their minds and have international experiences, but also adults, of course," Luna said.
"It would work, yes, I understand," nodded Maria. "When you spend a period of time in a foreign country, with the locals, you make friends. You eat like them, you live like they do and become part of the family. When you know the people and the customs of different countries, you stop thinking of them as "strangers" and see them just as people, like you and me." Luna nodded, smiled, and bit into one of the sweets. Maria continued with enthusiasm: "I remember an experience I had in Bulgaria a few years ago. Ugo and I were travelling to Greece by motorbike. The first week we rode through Yugoslavia and one afternoon we arrived at the border with Bulgaria, it was already late and was raining heavily. Bulgaria, as you know, is a very closed communist country. We stopped at the first bar, which was also a restaurant, but we hadn't changed any money, so we had no Bulgarian currency; the rain was terrible and it was too dangerous to continue, so we had no choice." Luna was listening with interest. She picked up her chai and sipped it, without taking her eyes off Maria, who was in full flow: "We sat at a table, arousing the curiosity of all the people in there. The waiter didn't speak a word of Italian, French, English or German, and we didn't speak Bulgarian. A boy from a nearby table, who spoke just a smattering of French, came to our rescue. I told him that we had no Bulgarian currency, so we couldn't order anything. This boy was with a group of young people and he translated what I told him to his friends who, waving their arms and with big smiles, invited us to their table. They brought coffee, tea, wine, water and plates full of meat, potatoes and vegetables." Luna listened, smiling. Maria was remembering and continued: "They encouraged us to eat, giving us affectionate pats on the shoulder and looking at us with such joy! They joked between them and laughed loudly. We toasted with red wine many times during this meeting where they spoke Bulgarian and we spoke Italian, and a bit of French!"
"That's wonderful! And then?" asked Luna, settling on the bench and straightening her back.
The waiter arrived with a bottle of cold water and two clean glasses and put them on the table, stopping to look from Maria to Luna and from Luna to Maria. They smiled at him, amused by how openly he showed his interest. Did they want anything else? No, thank you. Another chai? No thank you. More sweets? Very kind, but no thanks. Finally, reluctantly, he walked away.
Luna returned her gaze to Maria and asked her to continue where she'd left off: "And then?" she encouraged her.
"When it was time to pay, they paid, of course, and then they roughly explained that they were taking us somewhere to sleep, as the restaurant was about to close and the rain continued to pour! Tipsy as we were, we decided that Ugo would ride the bike and I would go in the car with the Bulgarian boys." Luna looked at her, worried.
Maria returned her a look of complicity and continued: "Once in the car, I sat behind with two guys, two others sat in the front and they began to drive at full speed. When I turned I could see the bike's headlights behind us, but Ugo was struggling to keep up. Sometimes his lights disappeared around a bend; the road was full of mud and I began to worry that he might slip. If he fell what would happen? I realized how vulnerable we were. Smiling, I kept motioning for them to slow down, I looked behind for the bike's headlights and they laughed loud. They'd slow down a bit and then accelerate again. We were all pretty drunk and they drove fast, so it seemed to me; maybe for them, who knew the road like the back of their hands, it was normal to drive like that."
"What a risk!" said Luna, involved in the story.
"Yes, and I was perfectly aware of it, but I continued to smile and laugh with them, I didn't want them to see my concern. Well, after some endless twenty minutes, maybe less, we arrived in the courtyard of a house in the countryside. The boys woke up the elderly couple who lived there, maybe they were the parents of one of them, and they welcomed us into the house, with big smiles, very protective. The young people said goodbye, they left and we never saw them again.
The elderly couple made us take off our wet jackets and trousers, they gave us a dry blanket and served us some strong liquor; all this without a common language, only gestures and words in Bulgarian from them, in Italian from us. Then they showed us a room with a very high bed. I remember that the bed was so high I had to climb on it," said Maria, laughing.
"What an adventure! And what beautiful people," Luna said.
"Yes, indeed! The next morning they woke us up early, I didn't know what time it was. The table was laden with a huge breakfast: fried eggs, homemade bread, butter, jam and plenty of coffee. They watched us eat, smiling, as if we were their children, keen to feed us, insisting that we take a little more. When they saw that we were getting ready to leave, they tried to make us stay, it was still raining; but it was difficult without a common language and we wanted to leave all the same.
So, they prepared a bag for us to take away, with bread, salami and cheese, apples, figs, all sorts of things. They were patting us on the shoulder as if to say, please, be careful. With gestures they told us we could come back if it was raining too much, and so we parted! Later we realized that we had woken up at five in the morning, just before dawn!"
Luna looked at her in silence for a moment and then, reflecting, she said: "That's the way it is, isn't it? Humanity. Listening to your story, I realized that I, too, in their place, would have done the same as the Bulgarian boys. You too, perhaps, would have done the same thing, wouldn't you? Helping people like you and Ugo, in that situation."
"Yes, I've done it many times with young people who were travelling in Italy."
"And what a satisfaction the two elders who took you in must have felt, to give you the big bed, to prepare you breakfast, the food-bag for the trip!" She paused, thinking to herself. "When we do something for another, in the end we do it for ourselves, too. We get a great deal of fulfilment from helping another human being," Luna mused.
"It's true! I have heard many stories of how people helped even the 'enemies' during the war; enemy soldiers who were lost, or who had deserted, hosted by peasants' families; persecuted Jews who were hidden by 'common' people, at the risk of their own lives and that of their families," said Maria.
Luna nodded and said: "There are stories like this in every country of the world. This tells me that humanity is the same everywhere, regardless of race, political or religious belief."
"You're right," Maria agreed. "If I think of how good I feel when I do something for another person, it's as good as the person receiving the favour, or kindness. At times it's a bigger pleasure to give than to receive."
"That's true, it's nourishment for that positive side that is in each of us," said Luna. "I find it's important to give wholeheartedly without hoping to be thanked. I prefer to give for the sake of giving and remain free of expectations."
"If the friendship is not sincere, it's not friendship," Luna said simply, looking at her.
Maria went silent. That feeling resurfaced, obstinately, and wouldn't go away; it was a look, a wry smile, a feeling that had lasted only a second, something she had noticed but couldn't put her finger on. She drove the thought of Franca into the background; she'd think about it later. She nodded thoughtfully, encouraging Luna to continue.
"If there is trust between two people, most of the time there won't be any conflict," she continued. "If and when problems arise, they will resolve them through dialogue, because both of them care about each other."
"Like, for example, between you and me?" asked Maria, after a brief pause. "If we had problems, we'd talk about them and resolve them. We certainly wouldn't lose this friendship!"
"Thank you for considering me a friend," Luna said, pleasantly touched. "Yes, that's the way it is. From friendship to trust and from trust to peace. This is the process that leads to lasting peace."
"Okay, I understand but... I'm sorry if I keep asking one question after another!"
"Not at all, that's fine. What did want you ask?" Luna encouraged her.
"Two people can create friendship, trust and dialogue, but wars are between nations, so what can be done? It's not the same, is it? It's much more complicated."
While Luna answered her question, Maria took the opportunity to eat a sweet and take a sip of the chai that had now cooled a little.
"In a sense, the process is similar. It's very important that people from different countries establish links of friendship, if they don't already exist. We begin by talking about what we have in common; everyone likes sports, for example! We can organize exchanges based on sports, friendly matches. Who wouldn't like that? Then, everybody likes art, and all countries have good painters, sculptors, musicians, singers, dancers. We can organize exchanges of music, concerts, art exhibitions going from town to town."
"But don't we already do these things? Games, concerts, ballets, and so on," Maria asked, swallowing quickly and wiping the crumbs from her mouth.
"There are competitive matches, concerts to which few people can go, because they are too expensive! I'm thinking of more popular things, open to everyone. Later, as part of the dialogue process, we can talk about health, about love for children, respect for the elderly. These are all things that unite people, while differences may divide."
"And organize exchanges of young and older people?" asked Maria, with enthusiasm.
Luna looked at her, amused, and laughed. "Yes, but we don't leave them there. Only temporary exchanges, then everyone takes back their young and old people and brings them home!" They laughed at the funny image of swapping grandparents between one border and the other. "Exchanges in general, especially of young people, because they are the future, so it's important that they open their minds and have international experiences, but also adults, of course," Luna said.
"It would work, yes, I understand," nodded Maria. "When you spend a period of time in a foreign country, with the locals, you make friends. You eat like them, you live like they do and become part of the family. When you know the people and the customs of different countries, you stop thinking of them as "strangers" and see them just as people, like you and me." Luna nodded, smiled, and bit into one of the sweets. Maria continued with enthusiasm: "I remember an experience I had in Bulgaria a few years ago. Ugo and I were travelling to Greece by motorbike. The first week we rode through Yugoslavia and one afternoon we arrived at the border with Bulgaria, it was already late and was raining heavily. Bulgaria, as you know, is a very closed communist country. We stopped at the first bar, which was also a restaurant, but we hadn't changed any money, so we had no Bulgarian currency; the rain was terrible and it was too dangerous to continue, so we had no choice." Luna was listening with interest. She picked up her chai and sipped it, without taking her eyes off Maria, who was in full flow: "We sat at a table, arousing the curiosity of all the people in there. The waiter didn't speak a word of Italian, French, English or German, and we didn't speak Bulgarian. A boy from a nearby table, who spoke just a smattering of French, came to our rescue. I told him that we had no Bulgarian currency, so we couldn't order anything. This boy was with a group of young people and he translated what I told him to his friends who, waving their arms and with big smiles, invited us to their table. They brought coffee, tea, wine, water and plates full of meat, potatoes and vegetables." Luna listened, smiling. Maria was remembering and continued: "They encouraged us to eat, giving us affectionate pats on the shoulder and looking at us with such joy! They joked between them and laughed loudly. We toasted with red wine many times during this meeting where they spoke Bulgarian and we spoke Italian, and a bit of French!"
"That's wonderful! And then?" asked Luna, settling on the bench and straightening her back.
The waiter arrived with a bottle of cold water and two clean glasses and put them on the table, stopping to look from Maria to Luna and from Luna to Maria. They smiled at him, amused by how openly he showed his interest. Did they want anything else? No, thank you. Another chai? No thank you. More sweets? Very kind, but no thanks. Finally, reluctantly, he walked away.
Luna returned her gaze to Maria and asked her to continue where she'd left off: "And then?" she encouraged her.
"When it was time to pay, they paid, of course, and then they roughly explained that they were taking us somewhere to sleep, as the restaurant was about to close and the rain continued to pour! Tipsy as we were, we decided that Ugo would ride the bike and I would go in the car with the Bulgarian boys." Luna looked at her, worried.
Maria returned her a look of complicity and continued: "Once in the car, I sat behind with two guys, two others sat in the front and they began to drive at full speed. When I turned I could see the bike's headlights behind us, but Ugo was struggling to keep up. Sometimes his lights disappeared around a bend; the road was full of mud and I began to worry that he might slip. If he fell what would happen? I realized how vulnerable we were. Smiling, I kept motioning for them to slow down, I looked behind for the bike's headlights and they laughed loud. They'd slow down a bit and then accelerate again. We were all pretty drunk and they drove fast, so it seemed to me; maybe for them, who knew the road like the back of their hands, it was normal to drive like that."
"What a risk!" said Luna, involved in the story.
"Yes, and I was perfectly aware of it, but I continued to smile and laugh with them, I didn't want them to see my concern. Well, after some endless twenty minutes, maybe less, we arrived in the courtyard of a house in the countryside. The boys woke up the elderly couple who lived there, maybe they were the parents of one of them, and they welcomed us into the house, with big smiles, very protective. The young people said goodbye, they left and we never saw them again.
The elderly couple made us take off our wet jackets and trousers, they gave us a dry blanket and served us some strong liquor; all this without a common language, only gestures and words in Bulgarian from them, in Italian from us. Then they showed us a room with a very high bed. I remember that the bed was so high I had to climb on it," said Maria, laughing.
"What an adventure! And what beautiful people," Luna said.
"Yes, indeed! The next morning they woke us up early, I didn't know what time it was. The table was laden with a huge breakfast: fried eggs, homemade bread, butter, jam and plenty of coffee. They watched us eat, smiling, as if we were their children, keen to feed us, insisting that we take a little more. When they saw that we were getting ready to leave, they tried to make us stay, it was still raining; but it was difficult without a common language and we wanted to leave all the same.
So, they prepared a bag for us to take away, with bread, salami and cheese, apples, figs, all sorts of things. They were patting us on the shoulder as if to say, please, be careful. With gestures they told us we could come back if it was raining too much, and so we parted! Later we realized that we had woken up at five in the morning, just before dawn!"
Luna looked at her in silence for a moment and then, reflecting, she said: "That's the way it is, isn't it? Humanity. Listening to your story, I realized that I, too, in their place, would have done the same as the Bulgarian boys. You too, perhaps, would have done the same thing, wouldn't you? Helping people like you and Ugo, in that situation."
"Yes, I've done it many times with young people who were travelling in Italy."
"And what a satisfaction the two elders who took you in must have felt, to give you the big bed, to prepare you breakfast, the food-bag for the trip!" She paused, thinking to herself. "When we do something for another, in the end we do it for ourselves, too. We get a great deal of fulfilment from helping another human being," Luna mused.
"It's true! I have heard many stories of how people helped even the 'enemies' during the war; enemy soldiers who were lost, or who had deserted, hosted by peasants' families; persecuted Jews who were hidden by 'common' people, at the risk of their own lives and that of their families," said Maria.
Luna nodded and said: "There are stories like this in every country of the world. This tells me that humanity is the same everywhere, regardless of race, political or religious belief."
"You're right," Maria agreed. "If I think of how good I feel when I do something for another person, it's as good as the person receiving the favour, or kindness. At times it's a bigger pleasure to give than to receive."
"That's true, it's nourishment for that positive side that is in each of us," said Luna. "I find it's important to give wholeheartedly without hoping to be thanked. I prefer to give for the sake of giving and remain free of expectations."
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