MADE IN NIRVANA
Chapter 14
We all die sooner or later
Luna was sitting in the garden when Maria joined her. A rickshaw accompanied them to the Johari Bazaar, a market specializing in silver and semi-precious stones where Luna wanted to buy some jewellery. The ambience, the colours, the sounds, the lights, the smells of the market were grabbing and fascinating, but most striking of all was the young woman she was with. Her presence conveyed joy. Luna seemed to illuminate the places she entered with her good mood, the attentive way she looked at the person she was speaking to, the consideration she showed toward those she came into contact with, even for a brief moment. When Maria pointed this out to her, Luna smiled and explained that, in everyone she met, she saw 'a potential Buddha' and felt great respect; she saw their Treasure Tower, she said, laughing. As a result, it came naturally to treat everyone like a precious human being, with the same consideration she would like for herself.
It was interesting to see how people reacted to her. They replied with warmth, friendliness and familiarity to her gaze full of enthusiasm and her warm voice. They followed her with their eyes and an expression of longing, fascinated, as if wishing she'd stay. After doing some shopping, they stopped at a chai-shop for some samosas.
While they were waiting, Maria told her about her encounter with Paul and Karen and the emotions she had experienced. She confided that she had felt something very special about him, as if she had already met him; everything seemed so natural. She described his embrace in the forest temple, how she had leaned her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat, overcome with emotion, and the effort she had made to control herself. In the past, she admitted, she wouldn't have thought much of having an affair with a man she liked, and who clearly liked her, and almost certainly would have gone to his village to see him. On that occasion, however, she had wanted to act with respect for him and Karen. Luna listened with great interest and nodded. She reassured her that she had done the right thing by not going; she had behaved in a way to create positive causes for her future, to create a relationship based on respect. This thought pleased Maria. She had made a good investment, then. But how was it possible to feel such strong emotions for someone she barely knew? Her friend looked at her for a moment without speaking; then she said that perhaps she had recognized him. What did she mean, asked Maria, that she knew him in another life? It was possible, Luna said; if the emotion was so strong and it was reciprocated, there was 'something'. But then why had she let him go? Why hadn't she gone to his house, as he had invited her? Even without doing 'anything wrong' she could have spent more time with him and got to know him better. Because it wasn't the right time, Luna replied; she didn't need to worry. After all she had decided to go back to the Valley of the Gods, hadn't she? Yes, but who knew when! The best thing was to chant for his happiness whenever she thought of him, without worrying about the 'how' and 'when'.
With a giggle, Luna shared a thought: "Often I tell myself: I'm making loads of positive causes, so where are the positive effects? Why haven't I met someone special yet? Where are 'my effects'?" That's right, where were they? Maria asked. Luna laughed again and said she had asked for advice on this point. She was told that the positive effects would definitely appear. "In the meantime, said the woman I was speaking to, think only about taking positive actions, to create positive causes for your future. Instead of thinking 'cause and effect', think 'cause, cause, cause!" and laughed heartily.
She stated that she enjoyed taking 'positive actions', it was a nice way to live, and that this in itself gave her a lot of joy. Maria felt swept up in Luna's enthusiasm for life. She wanted to live like that, with total freedom of spirit, with no expectations for the 'effects', simply enjoying living in harmony with herself and with the rest of the world.
There was intensity, a joy in everything that Luna did and said, in the way she looked, listened, walked and moved. How could she be so, did it come naturally to her? She asked. Luna laughed aloud! No, it didn't come naturally; it was the result of constant work on herself: "I learned that if I want to be happy I have to appreciate what I have, express my gratitude and then encourage myself and others." She looked across the table at Maria and confessed: "You have no idea how many doubts I have about what I say and do, but, instead of wasting energy analyzing or criticizing myself, every day I decide to do my best, starting from now, and I reflect on the past only to learn from my mistakes. After that, I look to the future, enjoy the present and the people I have in front of me, at every particular moment." She smiled at Maria's face, who was taking in what she was saying.
"Right now you're with me. Does it mean that you are enjoying this moment?"
"Immensely! It couldn't be better."
"I think so too! And you said that you think about the future. Do you have any clear plans?"
"Yes, many," said Luna. "When I chant I ask my heart where I want to be in ten or twenty years' time and, based on the answer, I choose my path."
"And where does your path take you?"
"To work for world peace, in different ways, but all with the same goal."
"And is this the reason you're so… vibrant?"
"That's a beautiful word, thank you! Well, yes, that'll be the reason," she answered, smiling.
"I want to be like that, too!" said Maria.
"Then you will be," Luna said, looking at her and smiling encouragingly. "Everything starts with a desire."
They got back to the Evergreen tired, sweaty and dusty, but happy, and decided to meet in the garden after a shower and eat something together. Luna invited her to chant before dinner and Maria accepted happily.
At one of the tables she saw an Italian boy preparing a bowl of henna, a sort of paste made with a powder obtained from a plant that grew along rivers, mixed with water. Applied to the hair, it made it shiny with beautiful copper highlights. Maria had seen the result on other girls and had wanted to try it, but she had never seen a man using it.
"Are you putting henna on?" she asked with curiosity, walking by.
"Yes, and I've mixed much more than I need. Do you want some?" the boy answered.
"How tempting! How long would I keep it on for?"
"A couple of hours. If you put it on now, you can wash it off before going to bed."
"Do you think it would react well with the colour of my hair?"
The boy picked up a strand of her hair and studied it briefly. Then he confidently declared that it would look beautiful; she had the perfect colour, a mousy brown. She was persuaded! "Would you help me put it on?"
"Sure! Go and take a shower and then come back here with wet hair. Meanwhile, I'll do mine," he urged her. Maria took a shower and went back a few minutes later. The boy had his hands full of the mixture that looked like cow dung and had almost finished spreading it on his head of dark curls. "Sit down. I'll put it on you while I have my hands full!" Maria obeyed, and the boy began to smear the brown mixture with a particular smell, massaging it well onto her scalp and through her long hair, working quickly, with great skill. "That's it," he said, after ten minutes' hard work. "Now I'll cover it with a scarf. Keep it on for at least two hours, longer if you can."
"Thank you so much! What a great service, you're very good."
"It's my job, I'm a hairdresser," he said.
"Perfect! Hopefully the colour will be ok."
"It will be great," he assured her.
Franca and Patti arrived. They had smoked charas in the government shops and had bought tickets for the bus to Delhi the next day, leaving late in the afternoon. They were drinking chai, sitting on a bench, and Maria went to sit with them.
"Did you have fun, you and your friend?" enquired Franca, who added: "What have you got on your head? It looks like cow shit."
"It's henna, a guy had mixed more than he needed and convinced me to try it. He even put it on for me. In two hours I'll take it off. He said the colour will be fine," she explained hopefully. "And yes, Luna and I talked a lot. We thought we'd have dinner together in half an hour. She's taking a shower now."
"And am I invited too?" asked Franca.
"But of course! You don't need to be invited, neither you nor Patti. If you want, you can come and chant for ten minutes in her room before dinner," suggested Maria. "You can take a shower now and then..."
"Don't tell me what to do," interrupted Franca abruptly, moving backwards. "Take a shower, come to chant... who do you think you are?"
Patti looked at her, surprised, and said: "Shanti, Madam, shanti!" giving a puzzled look to Maria, to see how she reacted. Maria felt the blood rising to her face and realized she was blushing; it was as if Franca had slapped her in the face. She wanted to reply with equal unpleasantness but she remembered the concept of responding instead of reacting. She had no idea of how to put it into practice, though. She would think about it while she was alone.
"Do as you like! I'll see you for dinner," she said standing up, and walked toward her room, fuming with anger inside. She didn't understand Franca's reaction, but Luna's words rang in her head: 'Maybe she's in love with you!' She hoped not. It was much easier to think it was rudeness, and perhaps she did have a tendency to tell her what to do. She wasn't aware of it but from now on she would pay great attention. While she waited for the agreed chanting time, she began to make preparations for the next day's trip.
Luna greeted her with a cheerful smile, which turned into a quizzical expression when she saw her face. Maria told her what had happened. Luna said that when a person was angry, that person was suffering: "Think about how you feel when you get angry."
"I feel awful! I hate being angry, it hurts my heart, I get a knot in the pit of my stomach; sometimes I feel like throwing up," Maria replied.
Luna suggested they chant those ten minutes for her happiness and that of Franca, and laughed seeing Maria's perplexed expression. "Yes, that's right, for her happiness," she insisted. "You'll see how different you feel. Trust me!" she encouraged her. "What have you put on your head?" she asked, finally.
"Henna. It gives coppery highlights. Better than the mousy brown!"
Her friend smiled and, seeing Maria's unhappy face, she encouraged her once again to pray for Franca's happiness.
"Okay, I'll try," agreed Maria. At first it was hard, but as she chanted, little by little, she realized that Franca had a constant need for reassurance and to be at the centre of attention. Eventually she felt a certain empathy with her; she seemed so independent, but in the end Franca was as insecure and vulnerable as she was. Just like a pot of cooking beans stops boiling and grumbling when taken off the heat, her anger abated and Maria relaxed. She began to chant for her own happiness, grateful for having met Luna. She watched her out of the corner of her eye and smiled at the determination with which she repeated that phrase, fast, her back straight, focused, full of energy and passion. Her beauty was exquisite; she had regular features, big eyes, a perfect nose, full lips... and was incredibly kind.
It was interesting to see how people reacted to her. They replied with warmth, friendliness and familiarity to her gaze full of enthusiasm and her warm voice. They followed her with their eyes and an expression of longing, fascinated, as if wishing she'd stay. After doing some shopping, they stopped at a chai-shop for some samosas.
While they were waiting, Maria told her about her encounter with Paul and Karen and the emotions she had experienced. She confided that she had felt something very special about him, as if she had already met him; everything seemed so natural. She described his embrace in the forest temple, how she had leaned her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat, overcome with emotion, and the effort she had made to control herself. In the past, she admitted, she wouldn't have thought much of having an affair with a man she liked, and who clearly liked her, and almost certainly would have gone to his village to see him. On that occasion, however, she had wanted to act with respect for him and Karen. Luna listened with great interest and nodded. She reassured her that she had done the right thing by not going; she had behaved in a way to create positive causes for her future, to create a relationship based on respect. This thought pleased Maria. She had made a good investment, then. But how was it possible to feel such strong emotions for someone she barely knew? Her friend looked at her for a moment without speaking; then she said that perhaps she had recognized him. What did she mean, asked Maria, that she knew him in another life? It was possible, Luna said; if the emotion was so strong and it was reciprocated, there was 'something'. But then why had she let him go? Why hadn't she gone to his house, as he had invited her? Even without doing 'anything wrong' she could have spent more time with him and got to know him better. Because it wasn't the right time, Luna replied; she didn't need to worry. After all she had decided to go back to the Valley of the Gods, hadn't she? Yes, but who knew when! The best thing was to chant for his happiness whenever she thought of him, without worrying about the 'how' and 'when'.
With a giggle, Luna shared a thought: "Often I tell myself: I'm making loads of positive causes, so where are the positive effects? Why haven't I met someone special yet? Where are 'my effects'?" That's right, where were they? Maria asked. Luna laughed again and said she had asked for advice on this point. She was told that the positive effects would definitely appear. "In the meantime, said the woman I was speaking to, think only about taking positive actions, to create positive causes for your future. Instead of thinking 'cause and effect', think 'cause, cause, cause!" and laughed heartily.
She stated that she enjoyed taking 'positive actions', it was a nice way to live, and that this in itself gave her a lot of joy. Maria felt swept up in Luna's enthusiasm for life. She wanted to live like that, with total freedom of spirit, with no expectations for the 'effects', simply enjoying living in harmony with herself and with the rest of the world.
There was intensity, a joy in everything that Luna did and said, in the way she looked, listened, walked and moved. How could she be so, did it come naturally to her? She asked. Luna laughed aloud! No, it didn't come naturally; it was the result of constant work on herself: "I learned that if I want to be happy I have to appreciate what I have, express my gratitude and then encourage myself and others." She looked across the table at Maria and confessed: "You have no idea how many doubts I have about what I say and do, but, instead of wasting energy analyzing or criticizing myself, every day I decide to do my best, starting from now, and I reflect on the past only to learn from my mistakes. After that, I look to the future, enjoy the present and the people I have in front of me, at every particular moment." She smiled at Maria's face, who was taking in what she was saying.
"Right now you're with me. Does it mean that you are enjoying this moment?"
"Immensely! It couldn't be better."
"I think so too! And you said that you think about the future. Do you have any clear plans?"
"Yes, many," said Luna. "When I chant I ask my heart where I want to be in ten or twenty years' time and, based on the answer, I choose my path."
"And where does your path take you?"
"To work for world peace, in different ways, but all with the same goal."
"And is this the reason you're so… vibrant?"
"That's a beautiful word, thank you! Well, yes, that'll be the reason," she answered, smiling.
"I want to be like that, too!" said Maria.
"Then you will be," Luna said, looking at her and smiling encouragingly. "Everything starts with a desire."
They got back to the Evergreen tired, sweaty and dusty, but happy, and decided to meet in the garden after a shower and eat something together. Luna invited her to chant before dinner and Maria accepted happily.
At one of the tables she saw an Italian boy preparing a bowl of henna, a sort of paste made with a powder obtained from a plant that grew along rivers, mixed with water. Applied to the hair, it made it shiny with beautiful copper highlights. Maria had seen the result on other girls and had wanted to try it, but she had never seen a man using it.
"Are you putting henna on?" she asked with curiosity, walking by.
"Yes, and I've mixed much more than I need. Do you want some?" the boy answered.
"How tempting! How long would I keep it on for?"
"A couple of hours. If you put it on now, you can wash it off before going to bed."
"Do you think it would react well with the colour of my hair?"
The boy picked up a strand of her hair and studied it briefly. Then he confidently declared that it would look beautiful; she had the perfect colour, a mousy brown. She was persuaded! "Would you help me put it on?"
"Sure! Go and take a shower and then come back here with wet hair. Meanwhile, I'll do mine," he urged her. Maria took a shower and went back a few minutes later. The boy had his hands full of the mixture that looked like cow dung and had almost finished spreading it on his head of dark curls. "Sit down. I'll put it on you while I have my hands full!" Maria obeyed, and the boy began to smear the brown mixture with a particular smell, massaging it well onto her scalp and through her long hair, working quickly, with great skill. "That's it," he said, after ten minutes' hard work. "Now I'll cover it with a scarf. Keep it on for at least two hours, longer if you can."
"Thank you so much! What a great service, you're very good."
"It's my job, I'm a hairdresser," he said.
"Perfect! Hopefully the colour will be ok."
"It will be great," he assured her.
Franca and Patti arrived. They had smoked charas in the government shops and had bought tickets for the bus to Delhi the next day, leaving late in the afternoon. They were drinking chai, sitting on a bench, and Maria went to sit with them.
"Did you have fun, you and your friend?" enquired Franca, who added: "What have you got on your head? It looks like cow shit."
"It's henna, a guy had mixed more than he needed and convinced me to try it. He even put it on for me. In two hours I'll take it off. He said the colour will be fine," she explained hopefully. "And yes, Luna and I talked a lot. We thought we'd have dinner together in half an hour. She's taking a shower now."
"And am I invited too?" asked Franca.
"But of course! You don't need to be invited, neither you nor Patti. If you want, you can come and chant for ten minutes in her room before dinner," suggested Maria. "You can take a shower now and then..."
"Don't tell me what to do," interrupted Franca abruptly, moving backwards. "Take a shower, come to chant... who do you think you are?"
Patti looked at her, surprised, and said: "Shanti, Madam, shanti!" giving a puzzled look to Maria, to see how she reacted. Maria felt the blood rising to her face and realized she was blushing; it was as if Franca had slapped her in the face. She wanted to reply with equal unpleasantness but she remembered the concept of responding instead of reacting. She had no idea of how to put it into practice, though. She would think about it while she was alone.
"Do as you like! I'll see you for dinner," she said standing up, and walked toward her room, fuming with anger inside. She didn't understand Franca's reaction, but Luna's words rang in her head: 'Maybe she's in love with you!' She hoped not. It was much easier to think it was rudeness, and perhaps she did have a tendency to tell her what to do. She wasn't aware of it but from now on she would pay great attention. While she waited for the agreed chanting time, she began to make preparations for the next day's trip.
Luna greeted her with a cheerful smile, which turned into a quizzical expression when she saw her face. Maria told her what had happened. Luna said that when a person was angry, that person was suffering: "Think about how you feel when you get angry."
"I feel awful! I hate being angry, it hurts my heart, I get a knot in the pit of my stomach; sometimes I feel like throwing up," Maria replied.
Luna suggested they chant those ten minutes for her happiness and that of Franca, and laughed seeing Maria's perplexed expression. "Yes, that's right, for her happiness," she insisted. "You'll see how different you feel. Trust me!" she encouraged her. "What have you put on your head?" she asked, finally.
"Henna. It gives coppery highlights. Better than the mousy brown!"
Her friend smiled and, seeing Maria's unhappy face, she encouraged her once again to pray for Franca's happiness.
"Okay, I'll try," agreed Maria. At first it was hard, but as she chanted, little by little, she realized that Franca had a constant need for reassurance and to be at the centre of attention. Eventually she felt a certain empathy with her; she seemed so independent, but in the end Franca was as insecure and vulnerable as she was. Just like a pot of cooking beans stops boiling and grumbling when taken off the heat, her anger abated and Maria relaxed. She began to chant for her own happiness, grateful for having met Luna. She watched her out of the corner of her eye and smiled at the determination with which she repeated that phrase, fast, her back straight, focused, full of energy and passion. Her beauty was exquisite; she had regular features, big eyes, a perfect nose, full lips... and was incredibly kind.
During dinner, Luna paid particular attention to Franca, who began to feel at ease, flattered by the attention she was receiving. Maria remained quiet, observing the change in Franca, who laughed at the way Luna was telling the adventures of the day: the man sleeping on his rickshaw with his legs up, balanced on the three-wheeled bicycle and snoring with his mouth open. She described the motorbike that carried an entire family, father, mother, two sons and a goat. She told them of the things made of silver and semi-precious stones, bracelets, rings, anklets, that she had bought to sell back in England. Franca insisted on seeing everything.
Luna went to get the package and opened it on the table, showing the pieces they had bought together, one by one. Franca became engrossed and wanted to know the prices, in which shops they had gone, how to know if the silver and the stones were of good quality. Luna told her everything she knew and Franca seemed to have forgotten the antipathy she had felt for her. Maria watched them, noting Luna's grace and inner balance and comparing it to Franca's overwhelming and undisciplined enthusiasm and she saw that there was no friction between them; on the contrary, they complemented each other. While Luna re-packed her silver things, she said she'd like to see what they had bought. Looking at Patti, Franca raised her chin, and this made Patti stand up and go to the dorm to fetch her purchases. They were fine things, different from Luna's but equally interesting. Maria asked if they had bought anything else and Franca laughed, glancing at her companion. Could she tell? Patti had bought something very special, she said. She had bought some, too, not so much, but good, and it came from the government's shop.
"The 'shop' is just a 'hole in a wall', a window open onto the road," she explained, full of enthusiasm. "Outside there was a queue of men, most of them quite old and skinny, with a fifty paisa coin in their hand. Now, that's so little! When their turn came, they put their coin on the windowsill, and the man from inside swapped it for a small lump of opium, or charas, all without a word!"
"What, just like that, openly?" Maria asked.
"Yeah! Just like that! Normal business. Amazing!" Franca was excited: "And then, it was our turn, and we asked for… well, quite a lot more!" She laughed out loud, glancing at Patti, who seemed reluctant to disclose the exact quantity.
"Some!" she said, with a reserved smile.
Franca was on a roll and quick to take over: "Well, they made us go inside a room and offered us a choice of two qualities of both opium and charas: 'standard' and 'superior'," she laughed aloud. "Needless to say we got the best one. It was so cheap!"
They talked a little longer and discovered that Luna was returning to Delhi the next day too, so they decided to travel together.
Maria went to take a shower and with a lot of patience, water and shampoo, washed the henna off. When she went back to her room her hair was still wet and seemed darker than before. "I hope it will be a beautiful colour," she said. "If not, it will wash off after a shower or two, right?"
Franca looked at her in surprise: "Henna is permanent, didn't you know? It doesn't go away."
Maria felt faint: "No, I didn't know. Poop!"
"It looked just like poop. Tomorrow we'll see the colour, maybe you'll be fine," said Franca. Now she could only wait and see. While preparing her backpack, Maria observed her companion: she was in good spirits, talking incessantly, about Luna and how nice she was, the trip to Delhi, the plans for next week; here was the Franca she knew well. Maria thought that there wasn't even a trace of resentment or anger. She relaxed and fell asleep with her hair still damp, hearing Franca's voice, talking, talking, talking... When she awoke she immediately ran to the bathroom and, to her great joy, her hair had become a little darker, but shiny and with coppery reflections. Luna, Patti, and even Franca, agreed that the new colour was great! Maria was changing from the outside, she thought, as well as from the inside.
The bus departed on time, full of people inside and luggage on the roof. They were sitting together, Franca next to Patti and Maria next to Luna. She was going to Delhi to welcome a friend who was coming from England, a fellow student who had studied drama with her, and was arriving with a South African guy she hadn't met.
She and Ted had finished University together, then she had left right away to travel around the world while Ted had a part in a theatre show in the West End. He was a talented actor and had already been noticed by the world of cinema. Was he her boyfriend? Maria asked. No, they had been good friends for years. Maybe they were such good friends that they couldn't become anything else; she loved him like a brother. Were they going to travel together? Yes, for a little while in India and then they were going to decide where to go.
"Were you not afraid of travelling alone?" asked Maria.
Luna laughed: "I am never alone, even if I try!" Then, smiling, she explained that she didn't like to be alone, she much preferred other people's company, but this time, as a challenge to herself, she had decided to try. "Since I left, I've never spent a moment alone, except for when I'm asleep or in the shower!" she said, laughing.
Franca wanted to know why she had decided to 'challenge' herself to be alone, if she didn't like it.
"I would have been scared," said Maria. "That's why Franca and I left together, although we hardly knew each other."
Luna explained that for her it was important to overcome her limitations and become more independent. She had been travelling alone for four weeks and now she knew there was nothing to fear. She explained that, by challenging herself to grow she was developing her potential. "Our potential is limitless," she said. "The only limits are the ones we set ourselves, usually because we are afraid of change or to take the first step into new territory." Even the profession she had chosen was difficult. She confided that her dream was to become a well known actress for two reasons, the first one was because she had always known her role would be on the stage, but the second reason had now become more important than her personal success: "I want to become well known because, in that way, I can have some influence on young people and communicate the values of this wonderful philosophy that I'm practising. A lot of people of my age don't have solid values to guide them to develop a useful life, not just for themselves but also for others. They no longer believe in the values of the past but they haven't replaced them with new ones."
Patti was listening carefully and nodded her head in silence.
"An altruistic life rather than a 'selfish' life," Maria said, making the 'quotation marks' signs with her fingers.
"Exactly! When we live only for ourselves, with our ambitions as our sole purpose, our life remains relatively small and our power equally limited," Luna continued. Even Franca was listening in silence. "But if our purpose is bigger than just ourselves and we plan to use our time on this earth for something that is of benefit to the whole of society, then our life expands, it becomes huge, and our power unlimited."
"Yeah, great," said Franca, quickly cutting in. "But not everyone wants to dedicate their life to society. Most people are only interested in themselves and their close circle of friends and family."
"True," agreed Luna. "But I think that's because they don't realize how happy they can become."
"In what way?" urged Franca. "It is because they want to be happy that they set their limits to their circle and don't want to get involved in things outside of it."
"My experience shows me that, as I have become less focused on myself and more committed to the happiness of others, I am much happier," said Luna. "Let's say that I dedicate a lot of my time and energy to a cause 'bigger than myself' and I see clearly where I want to direct my life." After a short pause she continued, talking to Franca and glancing at Maria and Patti. "You know how we walk when we don't know where we're going, or when we're taking a stroll? We walk slowly, with our nose in the air, looking around, stopping here and there. To cover a mile it may take us as long as an hour."
Luna went to get the package and opened it on the table, showing the pieces they had bought together, one by one. Franca became engrossed and wanted to know the prices, in which shops they had gone, how to know if the silver and the stones were of good quality. Luna told her everything she knew and Franca seemed to have forgotten the antipathy she had felt for her. Maria watched them, noting Luna's grace and inner balance and comparing it to Franca's overwhelming and undisciplined enthusiasm and she saw that there was no friction between them; on the contrary, they complemented each other. While Luna re-packed her silver things, she said she'd like to see what they had bought. Looking at Patti, Franca raised her chin, and this made Patti stand up and go to the dorm to fetch her purchases. They were fine things, different from Luna's but equally interesting. Maria asked if they had bought anything else and Franca laughed, glancing at her companion. Could she tell? Patti had bought something very special, she said. She had bought some, too, not so much, but good, and it came from the government's shop.
"The 'shop' is just a 'hole in a wall', a window open onto the road," she explained, full of enthusiasm. "Outside there was a queue of men, most of them quite old and skinny, with a fifty paisa coin in their hand. Now, that's so little! When their turn came, they put their coin on the windowsill, and the man from inside swapped it for a small lump of opium, or charas, all without a word!"
"What, just like that, openly?" Maria asked.
"Yeah! Just like that! Normal business. Amazing!" Franca was excited: "And then, it was our turn, and we asked for… well, quite a lot more!" She laughed out loud, glancing at Patti, who seemed reluctant to disclose the exact quantity.
"Some!" she said, with a reserved smile.
Franca was on a roll and quick to take over: "Well, they made us go inside a room and offered us a choice of two qualities of both opium and charas: 'standard' and 'superior'," she laughed aloud. "Needless to say we got the best one. It was so cheap!"
They talked a little longer and discovered that Luna was returning to Delhi the next day too, so they decided to travel together.
Maria went to take a shower and with a lot of patience, water and shampoo, washed the henna off. When she went back to her room her hair was still wet and seemed darker than before. "I hope it will be a beautiful colour," she said. "If not, it will wash off after a shower or two, right?"
Franca looked at her in surprise: "Henna is permanent, didn't you know? It doesn't go away."
Maria felt faint: "No, I didn't know. Poop!"
"It looked just like poop. Tomorrow we'll see the colour, maybe you'll be fine," said Franca. Now she could only wait and see. While preparing her backpack, Maria observed her companion: she was in good spirits, talking incessantly, about Luna and how nice she was, the trip to Delhi, the plans for next week; here was the Franca she knew well. Maria thought that there wasn't even a trace of resentment or anger. She relaxed and fell asleep with her hair still damp, hearing Franca's voice, talking, talking, talking... When she awoke she immediately ran to the bathroom and, to her great joy, her hair had become a little darker, but shiny and with coppery reflections. Luna, Patti, and even Franca, agreed that the new colour was great! Maria was changing from the outside, she thought, as well as from the inside.
The bus departed on time, full of people inside and luggage on the roof. They were sitting together, Franca next to Patti and Maria next to Luna. She was going to Delhi to welcome a friend who was coming from England, a fellow student who had studied drama with her, and was arriving with a South African guy she hadn't met.
She and Ted had finished University together, then she had left right away to travel around the world while Ted had a part in a theatre show in the West End. He was a talented actor and had already been noticed by the world of cinema. Was he her boyfriend? Maria asked. No, they had been good friends for years. Maybe they were such good friends that they couldn't become anything else; she loved him like a brother. Were they going to travel together? Yes, for a little while in India and then they were going to decide where to go.
"Were you not afraid of travelling alone?" asked Maria.
Luna laughed: "I am never alone, even if I try!" Then, smiling, she explained that she didn't like to be alone, she much preferred other people's company, but this time, as a challenge to herself, she had decided to try. "Since I left, I've never spent a moment alone, except for when I'm asleep or in the shower!" she said, laughing.
Franca wanted to know why she had decided to 'challenge' herself to be alone, if she didn't like it.
"I would have been scared," said Maria. "That's why Franca and I left together, although we hardly knew each other."
Luna explained that for her it was important to overcome her limitations and become more independent. She had been travelling alone for four weeks and now she knew there was nothing to fear. She explained that, by challenging herself to grow she was developing her potential. "Our potential is limitless," she said. "The only limits are the ones we set ourselves, usually because we are afraid of change or to take the first step into new territory." Even the profession she had chosen was difficult. She confided that her dream was to become a well known actress for two reasons, the first one was because she had always known her role would be on the stage, but the second reason had now become more important than her personal success: "I want to become well known because, in that way, I can have some influence on young people and communicate the values of this wonderful philosophy that I'm practising. A lot of people of my age don't have solid values to guide them to develop a useful life, not just for themselves but also for others. They no longer believe in the values of the past but they haven't replaced them with new ones."
Patti was listening carefully and nodded her head in silence.
"An altruistic life rather than a 'selfish' life," Maria said, making the 'quotation marks' signs with her fingers.
"Exactly! When we live only for ourselves, with our ambitions as our sole purpose, our life remains relatively small and our power equally limited," Luna continued. Even Franca was listening in silence. "But if our purpose is bigger than just ourselves and we plan to use our time on this earth for something that is of benefit to the whole of society, then our life expands, it becomes huge, and our power unlimited."
"Yeah, great," said Franca, quickly cutting in. "But not everyone wants to dedicate their life to society. Most people are only interested in themselves and their close circle of friends and family."
"True," agreed Luna. "But I think that's because they don't realize how happy they can become."
"In what way?" urged Franca. "It is because they want to be happy that they set their limits to their circle and don't want to get involved in things outside of it."
"My experience shows me that, as I have become less focused on myself and more committed to the happiness of others, I am much happier," said Luna. "Let's say that I dedicate a lot of my time and energy to a cause 'bigger than myself' and I see clearly where I want to direct my life." After a short pause she continued, talking to Franca and glancing at Maria and Patti. "You know how we walk when we don't know where we're going, or when we're taking a stroll? We walk slowly, with our nose in the air, looking around, stopping here and there. To cover a mile it may take us as long as an hour."
Maria and Patti nodded, while Franca had crossed her arms and was listening with a critical expression. Luna went on: "Think instead of the way we walk when we know exactly where we're going, for example, to the station to catch a train." She raised her right hand and extended her arm with her hand outstretched, as if to cut the air in front of her nose. "We walk with purpose, fast, focused, with energy. We cover a mile in... what... ten minutes?"
"Mmmm," said Franca, without compromising herself.
"Well, I want to live with a sense of purpose, of mission," said Luna. "I don't want to waste my time hesitating. I want to use my life to the fullest and make a difference in the world. I want to create value, so that at the end I can say 'I'm proud of what I did. What a great journey! I've really enjoyed it!'"
"You talk of having a mission!" argued Franca. "Don't you think it's a big word? You think about when you'll die? Brrrr!" She pretended to feel a shiver down her spine, accompanied by an expression of disgust in her face. "I want to have fun, live, experience everything I can. I want to smoke, get drunk, take an acid, or two, travel with my mind as well as my body. I want to 'get out of it', why not? Maybe in a few years' time, I'll think about contributing to society, but for now, I want to get to know myself! Otherwise, what have I got to give to society? First I'll have to experience all sorts of things, right?" The liking she had felt for Luna the night before had completely disappeared and had been replaced by a seemingly unprovoked belligerence.
"Me too, Franca," Patti said, more quietly. "But what Luna says is interesting, and worth thinking about."
"For me, it resonates with what I want," said Maria. Turning to Luna, she said: "I understand when you say that it gives you joy to think of other people's happiness. After speaking with you yesterday I couldn't stop thinking about it. When you explained the Treasure Tower that everyone has within, and how precious we are, I started to look at people in a different way. I imagine that inside each person there is a cylinder, encrusted with precious stones and brimming with light. The cylinder is more or less the same for everyone, and around it there is the person's body, which is different for each of us. That's how I visualize it. So, if from the outside we are all different, on the inside we all have the Treasure Tower, and we are all equal, even if one is more intelligent and another is a bit 'thick'!" Luna was listening and smiling. Maria went on: "I feel like my own life is expanding." Then, turning to Franca, she said: "Your attitude worries me, Franca. It sounds like you're playing with fire. It's very important to respect ourselves, and if we use certain drugs we risk getting lost, seriously. It's the world of Animality, isn't it? The world of instincts; or the world of Hunger, with insatiable desires."
"You may be an animal!" snapped Franca, gesturing and openly aggressive. "Don't you worry about me. I know what I'm doing! Maybe you should explore your mind a little more; maybe you'd relax a bit!"
"Come on Franca, there is no need to talk like that. It's like you've been stung by a wasp," said Patti.
"We are all different and that's why life is so interesting," rejoined Luna, calmly. "What you were saying about the cylinder inside of us, with the Treasure Tower, is perfect, I really like it," she said, speaking to Maria. Then, looking at Franca and Patti in turn, she carried on: "There is a nice image that explains how the cherry, plum and peach tree are all beautiful, each one in its own way. It would be ridiculous if the plum tree was envious of the cherry tree's flowers and wanted to be like him. Imagine if he thought 'Look at my neighbour's beautiful flowers; he is so elegant and distinguished. That makes me so angry! I want flowers like that!' It wouldn't work, right? It's important to accept that each of us is unique, become aware of this diversity and appreciate it. From here mutual respect develops, and from that comes world peace."
Franca rolled her eyes in exasperation. Her voice was rising: "There you go again! All these Buddhists who are concerned about world peace," she snapped, waving her hand in the air. "Have a big spliff, guys! A nice fat line of coke! Relax! And have some fun! 'cause it won't be you who'll change the world!"
"And instead we will," Luna replied, with conviction. She didn't seem to be fazed by Franca's hostility. "The change begins with one person, every time we win over the negativity we have inside and transform it into positive thoughts, words and actions," she said. "It starts with one person and then they will become two, ten, a hundred, a thousand and one day we will be millions. It may seem like a slow change, but it is a long-lasting one, because it changes our consciousness; from heart to heart, from one friend to another, creating friendship, trust, and from there, peace. The more we are who make this commitment, each one in our own way, the quicker we will grow, like an upside-down pyramid."
"What exactly is this negativity you keep mentioning? I'm not sure I understand. Could you give me an example?" Patti said.
"Often it is another name for our ego. Buddhism calls it the 'smaller self', which is the voice within us that tells us that we are separate from each other, puts one against the other and creates suffering."
"If there is a 'small self', it means that there is also a 'big self'?" asked Patti.
"Indeed," confirmed Luna. "The 'greater self' is the opposite; it tells us that we are all interconnected and creates unity. When we help others become happy, we develop our 'greater self' and we are less obsessed with our 'small self'. This is how we become happy. It doesn't mean that we have a smile on our lips all the time, but that we consistently have a great life force, especially in difficult times." Realizing by her expression that Patti had expected a clearer example, she added: "Anger, for example, or feeling superior to others, are manifestations of the 'small self', unless it is directed toward fighting injustice. It has both a smaller and greater aspect." Since Patti nodded, looking satisfied, she looked at Franca and said: "You know what happens when you throw a stone into water!"
"It sinks," Franca replied dryly.
Luna laughed heartily: "Yes, it sinks; it also creates many circles in the water. In the same way, our actions, and also our thoughts and words, have consequences. Always! Like the law of gravity, the law of cause and effect works whether you understand it or not, whether you agree with it or not! If you jump out of the window you fall, this is the law of gravity. You hurt yourself, or worse. The law of cause and effect says that every thought, word or action is a cause that will result in an effect. There are no exceptions."
"Yes, but it's going to take forever before the world changes. And what can someone like you do? Nothing!" said Franca, enraged.
Patti looked at Maria and then at Franca, surprised; she didn't understand her provocative attitude. But Luna remained undeterred and kind. "Gandhi was one person. Martin Luther King was just a man! Nelson Mandela is only one," she said.
"Yes, indeed! And the first two were killed, while the third one is in prison," said Franca triumphantly. "Don't you see? Mandela tried to change apartheid and has been inside for the past twenty years! And there he'll stay until he dies, you'll see!" she concluded combatively.
"Yes, the first two are dead, but with his peaceful struggle Luther King changed the civil rights in America and Mahatma Gandhi, here in India, gained independence," Luna said. "As for dying, we all die sooner or later, don't we? We might as well use our lives in a way that creates value! Taking care of our life, of course, because every day of life is precious, but also using it to the fullest! And, as for Nelson Mandela, I'm sure he will succeed in changing the system in South Africa, in a peaceful manner."
"Never! It's a utopia you're dreaming of! The whites will always oppose it!" Franca was raising her voice. People sitting all around had been straining to listen to their conversation, but as the voices became louder, their full attention was clearly on the girls.
"There are many whites who are against apartheid. I'm sure of it," Luna replied calmly, as if she hadn't noticed Franca's growing anger. "It's just a matter of time!"
"And how can you be so sure, can you tell us?"
"I don't know exactly how it will happen, but we are chanting all over the world for the end of apartheid in South Africa and the end of the conflict in Ireland."
"Oh, come on! They have been killing each other in the streets of Ireland for forty years!" Franca shouted, throwing her arms in the air. "It will never end. You are just idealists! Carry on chanting, and wasting your time! I've got better things to do with mine!"
"Your friend's friend who's arriving in Delhi is South African, isn't he?" Maria said, stepping in. Franca's attitude made her feel uncomfortable and, from what Luna had just described, it was her 'small self' that was shouting. "It will be interesting to hear what he thinks. Where will you go when they arrive?" she asked out of interest, and to change the subject.
"I think we'll be going to Rishikesh, and later to Varanasi," said Luna. "But I'll see what plans they have; we'll decide together."
Maria told her about the Tourist Camp, which was a great place for when they stopped in Delhi. Luna made a note of it for the future, as this time they were staying at the house of some friends of Ted's, just outside the centre of the capital.
The bus had arrived in Delhi and it was time to part ways. She didn't know when she would see Luna again, but she would have liked to, very much. They hugged tight and Maria carefully stored her London address. She thanked her for all the things she had taught her, and was very sorry to leave her. Franca said goodbye with a forced smile and it was obvious she was glad to see her go. Maria's eyes followed the scooter that took her away until it disappeared into the sea of traffic. She missed her already. There was something unique and beautiful about Luna that she would never forget. Something told her that her life had changed through their meeting.
She turned to Franca and saw an expression of dissatisfaction printed all over her face. Maria had no desire to talk to her. They looked around for a taxi to share; she kept to herself and let Patti take the initiative. In her head she chanted for Luna's happiness. Little by little, the irritation she felt toward Franca faded. She glanced at her sideways. She was still upset and looked unhappy, and Maria felt a little bit sorry for her.
"Mmmm," said Franca, without compromising herself.
"Well, I want to live with a sense of purpose, of mission," said Luna. "I don't want to waste my time hesitating. I want to use my life to the fullest and make a difference in the world. I want to create value, so that at the end I can say 'I'm proud of what I did. What a great journey! I've really enjoyed it!'"
"You talk of having a mission!" argued Franca. "Don't you think it's a big word? You think about when you'll die? Brrrr!" She pretended to feel a shiver down her spine, accompanied by an expression of disgust in her face. "I want to have fun, live, experience everything I can. I want to smoke, get drunk, take an acid, or two, travel with my mind as well as my body. I want to 'get out of it', why not? Maybe in a few years' time, I'll think about contributing to society, but for now, I want to get to know myself! Otherwise, what have I got to give to society? First I'll have to experience all sorts of things, right?" The liking she had felt for Luna the night before had completely disappeared and had been replaced by a seemingly unprovoked belligerence.
"Me too, Franca," Patti said, more quietly. "But what Luna says is interesting, and worth thinking about."
"For me, it resonates with what I want," said Maria. Turning to Luna, she said: "I understand when you say that it gives you joy to think of other people's happiness. After speaking with you yesterday I couldn't stop thinking about it. When you explained the Treasure Tower that everyone has within, and how precious we are, I started to look at people in a different way. I imagine that inside each person there is a cylinder, encrusted with precious stones and brimming with light. The cylinder is more or less the same for everyone, and around it there is the person's body, which is different for each of us. That's how I visualize it. So, if from the outside we are all different, on the inside we all have the Treasure Tower, and we are all equal, even if one is more intelligent and another is a bit 'thick'!" Luna was listening and smiling. Maria went on: "I feel like my own life is expanding." Then, turning to Franca, she said: "Your attitude worries me, Franca. It sounds like you're playing with fire. It's very important to respect ourselves, and if we use certain drugs we risk getting lost, seriously. It's the world of Animality, isn't it? The world of instincts; or the world of Hunger, with insatiable desires."
"You may be an animal!" snapped Franca, gesturing and openly aggressive. "Don't you worry about me. I know what I'm doing! Maybe you should explore your mind a little more; maybe you'd relax a bit!"
"Come on Franca, there is no need to talk like that. It's like you've been stung by a wasp," said Patti.
"We are all different and that's why life is so interesting," rejoined Luna, calmly. "What you were saying about the cylinder inside of us, with the Treasure Tower, is perfect, I really like it," she said, speaking to Maria. Then, looking at Franca and Patti in turn, she carried on: "There is a nice image that explains how the cherry, plum and peach tree are all beautiful, each one in its own way. It would be ridiculous if the plum tree was envious of the cherry tree's flowers and wanted to be like him. Imagine if he thought 'Look at my neighbour's beautiful flowers; he is so elegant and distinguished. That makes me so angry! I want flowers like that!' It wouldn't work, right? It's important to accept that each of us is unique, become aware of this diversity and appreciate it. From here mutual respect develops, and from that comes world peace."
Franca rolled her eyes in exasperation. Her voice was rising: "There you go again! All these Buddhists who are concerned about world peace," she snapped, waving her hand in the air. "Have a big spliff, guys! A nice fat line of coke! Relax! And have some fun! 'cause it won't be you who'll change the world!"
"And instead we will," Luna replied, with conviction. She didn't seem to be fazed by Franca's hostility. "The change begins with one person, every time we win over the negativity we have inside and transform it into positive thoughts, words and actions," she said. "It starts with one person and then they will become two, ten, a hundred, a thousand and one day we will be millions. It may seem like a slow change, but it is a long-lasting one, because it changes our consciousness; from heart to heart, from one friend to another, creating friendship, trust, and from there, peace. The more we are who make this commitment, each one in our own way, the quicker we will grow, like an upside-down pyramid."
"What exactly is this negativity you keep mentioning? I'm not sure I understand. Could you give me an example?" Patti said.
"Often it is another name for our ego. Buddhism calls it the 'smaller self', which is the voice within us that tells us that we are separate from each other, puts one against the other and creates suffering."
"If there is a 'small self', it means that there is also a 'big self'?" asked Patti.
"Indeed," confirmed Luna. "The 'greater self' is the opposite; it tells us that we are all interconnected and creates unity. When we help others become happy, we develop our 'greater self' and we are less obsessed with our 'small self'. This is how we become happy. It doesn't mean that we have a smile on our lips all the time, but that we consistently have a great life force, especially in difficult times." Realizing by her expression that Patti had expected a clearer example, she added: "Anger, for example, or feeling superior to others, are manifestations of the 'small self', unless it is directed toward fighting injustice. It has both a smaller and greater aspect." Since Patti nodded, looking satisfied, she looked at Franca and said: "You know what happens when you throw a stone into water!"
"It sinks," Franca replied dryly.
Luna laughed heartily: "Yes, it sinks; it also creates many circles in the water. In the same way, our actions, and also our thoughts and words, have consequences. Always! Like the law of gravity, the law of cause and effect works whether you understand it or not, whether you agree with it or not! If you jump out of the window you fall, this is the law of gravity. You hurt yourself, or worse. The law of cause and effect says that every thought, word or action is a cause that will result in an effect. There are no exceptions."
"Yes, but it's going to take forever before the world changes. And what can someone like you do? Nothing!" said Franca, enraged.
Patti looked at Maria and then at Franca, surprised; she didn't understand her provocative attitude. But Luna remained undeterred and kind. "Gandhi was one person. Martin Luther King was just a man! Nelson Mandela is only one," she said.
"Yes, indeed! And the first two were killed, while the third one is in prison," said Franca triumphantly. "Don't you see? Mandela tried to change apartheid and has been inside for the past twenty years! And there he'll stay until he dies, you'll see!" she concluded combatively.
"Yes, the first two are dead, but with his peaceful struggle Luther King changed the civil rights in America and Mahatma Gandhi, here in India, gained independence," Luna said. "As for dying, we all die sooner or later, don't we? We might as well use our lives in a way that creates value! Taking care of our life, of course, because every day of life is precious, but also using it to the fullest! And, as for Nelson Mandela, I'm sure he will succeed in changing the system in South Africa, in a peaceful manner."
"Never! It's a utopia you're dreaming of! The whites will always oppose it!" Franca was raising her voice. People sitting all around had been straining to listen to their conversation, but as the voices became louder, their full attention was clearly on the girls.
"There are many whites who are against apartheid. I'm sure of it," Luna replied calmly, as if she hadn't noticed Franca's growing anger. "It's just a matter of time!"
"And how can you be so sure, can you tell us?"
"I don't know exactly how it will happen, but we are chanting all over the world for the end of apartheid in South Africa and the end of the conflict in Ireland."
"Oh, come on! They have been killing each other in the streets of Ireland for forty years!" Franca shouted, throwing her arms in the air. "It will never end. You are just idealists! Carry on chanting, and wasting your time! I've got better things to do with mine!"
"Your friend's friend who's arriving in Delhi is South African, isn't he?" Maria said, stepping in. Franca's attitude made her feel uncomfortable and, from what Luna had just described, it was her 'small self' that was shouting. "It will be interesting to hear what he thinks. Where will you go when they arrive?" she asked out of interest, and to change the subject.
"I think we'll be going to Rishikesh, and later to Varanasi," said Luna. "But I'll see what plans they have; we'll decide together."
Maria told her about the Tourist Camp, which was a great place for when they stopped in Delhi. Luna made a note of it for the future, as this time they were staying at the house of some friends of Ted's, just outside the centre of the capital.
The bus had arrived in Delhi and it was time to part ways. She didn't know when she would see Luna again, but she would have liked to, very much. They hugged tight and Maria carefully stored her London address. She thanked her for all the things she had taught her, and was very sorry to leave her. Franca said goodbye with a forced smile and it was obvious she was glad to see her go. Maria's eyes followed the scooter that took her away until it disappeared into the sea of traffic. She missed her already. There was something unique and beautiful about Luna that she would never forget. Something told her that her life had changed through their meeting.
She turned to Franca and saw an expression of dissatisfaction printed all over her face. Maria had no desire to talk to her. They looked around for a taxi to share; she kept to herself and let Patti take the initiative. In her head she chanted for Luna's happiness. Little by little, the irritation she felt toward Franca faded. She glanced at her sideways. She was still upset and looked unhappy, and Maria felt a little bit sorry for her.
To go to chapter 15 click here : Chapter 15
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